I WON’T BE USING THIS BLOG NOW. GOOD BYE. :)

T,

You’ll realize that in the end, all the troubles that you’re having now will eventually be useful in making you better. Once everything is through, you can look back at your old self and move forward with everything that you learned. You’ll be better. A year ago, you weren’t the same person as you are now. You improved. I’m pretty sure that in a few years time, you’ll be way better than who you are now. By that time, you’ll be free. Free to take hold of your life and make the things that you really want. Give yourself time. You need not rush; for in patience one can appreciate the value of things. Things that were rushed often lead to failures. Half-baked. Do not make the same mistakes all over again. Now, it’s about time to just take hold of yourself and do some improvements and repairs. It may be sad and lonely, but after everything is through, it will all be worth it.  <3

leaving this one here, too. no more aar songs on the playlist. k

leaving all the last ss (sad songs) here. :|

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made this post last last sunday but then i saved it as a draft instead. now im posting this as my last rant. same old issue, same ranting place. this’ll be the last time il bother myself with this issue, puking this one out now since i wouldnt be needing this in my systemm, so jst pls bare with me with the lengthy post. :|

i jst srsly need to vent this one out tonight. i actually didnt mean to be who i was last night when i got myself drunk with pitchers of mixed drinks and beer. i was obviously not into my right senses when i texted you and see you after when we both know it wouldnt be right. and yes, we crossed the line again. i know you might think of me as a total btch or slut for doing that and everytime i think about it, it never fails to make me feel disgusted and cheap and easy and careless and all the worst things i could ever think myself of. if nadula respect mo sakon, then be it. explaining my side would be a complete waste but i hope before ka lang nagisip sng lain, isipon mo man lang tani ang reason ngaa gabalik2 ko smo. i had to swallow up my pride and all and though everything was hard for me, i kept on trying to save the whole thing because all this matters to me. because the value of this is way much more than our petty fights and immaturities. obviously amu nlg gd na basis ko for me to want to make this work though things seemed impossible to me. wla nako labot sa batasan mo. wla ko labot ano may ara ka or wala ka. wala nako labot sa tsura mo or wat. i just needed you to be more understanding on the whole situation. kng hndi mo gs2 mapilitan, wala lng gd choice. u cant change the situation now, so u have to change urself. pilit gd na ang intindhn mlg ko? kailgn ka sng babayi, pbayan mo nlng? palagson mo pa na dpat tani ikaw na lalaki ang mas nag effort because you had something i don’t want to actually regret. showing me you’re worth it, will show respect. but then you didn’t like as if it all didnt mattered to you. you were just too blind and stubborn to maturely see the value of things. kng sa batasan man lng, it takes enough understanding to consider the differences. budlayan kpa mgbalik sng tapos na? if this only mattered to you, you wouldn’t use that as your reason. you just left everything else na daw wala lg gd kapulos2x. how do you think should i feel about that?

i hope you know how much ive changed from what we had. compared sa ako before pa ni.i was that easy going, fun and optimistic kind of girl. now i became too worried on a lot of things, too careless on my decisions. and overthinking took the optimism out of me. sucks to know that after everything, from all my risks and efforts, after i saved your ass from my mom and my bestfriend, you just ended up making me feel this worthless na daw grabe2x gd batasan ko, na daw wla lng ko but a big regret. tsakto mn hmbl nila, u shouldnt look back on the past. but you know this mistake will always be with me. no matter how i try to run away from it,time wont change wats already been done. wala mo man lang gnisip epekto ni sakon. dats why its all been so hard for me to just let you quit. just like that. 

sucks to know, too, how immature things have ended. wala man lng labot ang isa sa nafeel sng isa. but that’s fine. you should know, what goes around comes all the way back around. kng ano naubra mo sa isa, mbalik gd. it’s all been proven by a thousand stories. every action has its consequences and life wont stop teaching you lessons if you kept on refusing to change for the better. when you’d finally get to be in a situation as i am now, when all your risks and efforts for someone will go to waste and she’d make you feel like you’ll never be good enough, that’d be your wake up call.

i never wanted for things to be how they are now. though we’ve talked. still kacold gd smo magstorya na bal.an mo man gksakitan nako sa mga npnghmbal mo. maski storyahan lng sng tsakto supladuhan pa gd gyapon. and yes, youre that one person who has ever made me feel this much hurt. tapos na gani sakiton mo pa gyapon. i know wala ka time panumdumon ni but ignoring things like this wont make you any better. ndi man lng ikaw ang involved d. kailgn mo man lng tani intindihun ang iban kaysa sa sitwasyon mo lng. i hope u knew i meant it wen i said i nid u. corny much ano pagd da? fnally had the guts to tell you ily cos i honestly dont want you to think na wala lng sakon. but you just took advantage of me. ndi mo man gli kaya panindugan naubra mo. you just do it because you want to. tapos supladuhan mo lang kng storyahon kna, ako pa gyapon msorry para lng mag ok na. nahambal mo lng mas kilala mo self mo, why don’t you look a little more closer on the things you do so you’d get a clearer view of yourself. you prolly just got blinded with the things you claim yourself as you are.

im actually trying not to be bitter now after knowing may gusto kda na iban and ure just waiting. u chose her over me, fine. if u dont think im worth it, so be it. our time’s just never quite enough and there’s so much left for you to know about me. it wil take long for me to forget and actually heal but i know in the end il just be fine. with the things i learned from loving and being strong, im moving on to a better life ahead of me. my life’s too short for bitter regrets and useless chasing for someone who doesn’t even realize my worth. if this is what you think will only make you happy, so be it.

let’s just leave it all up to Him and His plans. if kta pamn gd or hindi, this lesson will forever stay in me. Thanks so much Nathan Angelo Fernandez. ive been and still praying for you and for this. Ive never been attached to someone like this much.so dont ever feel na 2nd best ka lng or the like. i know there’s that good “man” inside you just waiting to be found. In two or three, things will be better. We can nvr rly say never, I hope to see you again soon. 

A very good friend of mine told me that I should not settle for anything less than what I really want- a God-fearing, intelligent, and fun guy who will love me for me and who values the same things I do. It’s hard to actually forget someone who has left an imprint on my life, but as difficult as it may seem, I know it won’t kill me, and it’d only make me stronger.

if other people might read this post and judge me, i dont care. this is only a grain from my whole field of stories. tumblr’s my escape route and everything’s in here, leave it here. 

This outfit tomorrow! Hahahaha. But will wear a black tank top and blue denim shorts instead of the white top and black pants. :))) flat shoes or topsider? :D

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glowingcottoncandy:

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Strong && Sweet! <3

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